$LYER Than Your Average: Saturday, March 28, 2009

Well I Mean When You Go To A Strip Club There Are Rules To Follow. Shit Even I Know That And I Havent Even Been To One(Well Not Yet) But Yea Heres The 10 Strip Club Commanments From Dimewars.com. Seem Like Some Shit Guys &Girls Can Follow

10. Thou Shalt Not Fall in Love With The Strippers
This is a common rookie mistake. The thing to remember is that this is a job for the ladies. Their job is to get as much money from you as possible. Some guys take the sexual attention the wrong way. Just because she says you are cute doesn't mean that she wants to take you home. Dancers would tell Flavor Flav that he looks like Morris Chesnut to get an extra $20. They are there to dance and that's it. Don't let it go to your head.

9. Thou Shalt Not Spend Your Rent Money
Whenever you go to a strip club, it's a good idea to budget how much you plan to spend. If you can afford $100, that's all you should bring to the club. You don't want to be put out on the street because Desire was shaking her ass in front of you. Porsha is not going to feed your family. And seriously, do you really want to explain to your girl that you can't take her out to eat because Destiny took your last $20? I think not. Be smart about it and don't spend more than you can afford.

8. Thou Shalt Not Touch The Dancer (unless she touches you first)
Some dancers will let you touch. Some dancers wont. A good rule of thumb to follow is to let them take the lead. If a girl is standing 5 feet in front of you, her body language is saying "hands off muhfucka." Then you have the ones that will grind directly on your lap or grab your hands and put them where she wants them. Those are my favorites. Sometimes she will put her breasts near your mouth, but don't fall for that. Do not under any circumstances lick her nipple. That will get you kicked out the club faster than Twista raps.

7. Thou Shalt Not Pay Attention To The DJ
At just about every strip club I've been to, the DJ talks shit. Don't let that affect your good time. While he makes his gay jokes and berates the patrons for not tipping, stay focused on the reason you came: naked ladies. After all, you paid your cover charge and you can do whatever you want. Don't let the fear of embarassment cause you to get pressured into tipping a girl you don't want.

6. Thou Shalt Not Go Alone
Not just because it’s pathetic, it’s because shit like this can happen. The lonely guy above is having some motorboat fun, but two hours later he’ll be unconscious in a pool of vomit in the champagne room. Just like girls travel in packs to the nightclub to cockblock for each other, so too should men at the titty bar.

5. Thou Shalt Mind Thine Company
Don't Go With These Guys

4. Thou Shalt Not Use Plastic
Another common rookie mistake. Don't bring your credit or debit card into a strip club. All that's going to do is create an electronic trail of your whereabouts. Imagine your wife's surprise when she gets the monthly bill and sees a $500 charge to a strip club. Don't think you'll be out of the doghouse anytime soon. Hit up the ATM before you go the club. It's just smarter and also more fun to use cash. You can't put a credit card reciept in a dancer's G-string like you can with a dollar bill

3. Thou Shalt Not Infringe On Your Boy's Dance
One of my pet peeves about strip clubs are guys (or girls) who don't buy their own dances. These characters will sit up in the club all night and not pay for anything. It is well within your right to do this, but if I am spending my hard earned money for a dance, don't stare at the girl like you paid for it. Keep your eyes on the stage; this is my table dance. And please, do not talk to me during my dance. I can't count how many times I've heard "hey man, that girl is bad" while I was getting a dance. I know she's bad, that's how come I'm paying. Leave me alone and get your own dance.

2. Thou Shalt Know What Type Of Club It Is First
Full nude separates the women from the…non-women. /And Dudes From Non Dudes

1. Thou Shalt Not Bend Over
After Reading This you will never need an explanation!!!

Copy Of What "This Is"

pparently everything is upside down in the "land down under". Yesterday, an Australian man took stripper, Linda Naggs, 39, to court accusing her of sexually penetrating him with a sex toy at a bachelor's party. Naggs entered the party cracking a whip and performed an act for the groom before moving on to the best man, a witness, who cannot be named, told Melbourne Magistrates Court. He said the complainant had his pants down to his knees and his top off when Ms Naggs was passed a vibrator by an assistant. The witness said the best man had reluctantly agreed to the performance, after the groom spent less than a minute on the stage, and looked uncomfortable throughout.
He said Ms Naggs, who was naked and wearing a sex toy, forced the best man onto all fours before allegedly assaulting him. "She went behind him and pulsated to push him to the ground," he said. The witness said he heard the man scream and get to his feet. "'Why did you do that for ... you didn't have to do that,'" he said the man yelled. The witness said the complainant got up, called Ms Naggs an idiot and told her to leave.

He said a fight broke out between the pair, during which Ms Naggs threw a punch at the complainant, but missed. "She was a little bit hysterical ... she thought she was a boxer," the best man's brother told the court. The court heard Naggs had been riding the "very conservative" best man like a horse before the alleged rape and he may not have known what she was doing behind him.

Naggs has been charged with one count of rape.

Soo Boom There You Go Bros And Girls Lol

I Mean Have You Ever Felt As If You Or Your Kids Are Growin Up To Fast? Well Here Is One More Thing To Add To That Problem. Dora The Explorer Has A New Look. She No Longer Looks Like A Lil Midget Mexican Lesbian (A Dike Not A Fem), She's Now On Some Glammed Up Shit. Boy Are Parents Mad About This I Mean Of Course There Mostly White Parents But Hey I Mean Wateva. I Mean To Be Honest I Dont See Anything Wrong With Her New Look I Just Dont Like The Fact That She Ditched Her Homies And Shit. That Might Give Some Lil Girls Thoughts. But I Think ppl Are Goin A Lil Bit To Hard For This I Mean They Even Have Petitions For It. Some OfThe Points Made Are Some Good Ones

"Alas, we saw the signs. The cute flower lip gloss, the pinkified look, the sudden separation of Dora and Diego shows. We could have, should have predicted this after we saw the likes of Strawberry Shortcake, Holly Hobby, and Trollz (now with the ubiquitous commodified girl power “z”), all made over in the cute sexy way that marketers sell maturity to girls--the sassy wink, the long flowing hair, the thin waist, the turned out hip pose of practiced lingerie models. What next? Dora the Cheerleader? Dora the fashionista with stylish purse and stilettos? Dora the Pop Star with Hoppin' Dance Club and "Juice" Bar? We can expect it all, because that's what passes as "tween" in the toy department these days. "

But I Think I They Should Just Give It A Chance. Lil Girls And Boys Should Have A Character The Can Grow Along With.

$LYER Than Your Average

3.28.2009

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